this entry was originally posted to r/clementineiscool.

hi eveyrone.! how is your Evening? if you'll indulge me, i have one more ever slightlly serious post of some raw thoughts to get off my chest and then i'm pleased to say i'll be returning back to the regularly scheduled silly goofy stuff.

today i had to do something Difficult i'd been putting off for a while... the sorta thing that just leaves you a bit "heartbroken" with your heart hurting a bit. Buttttt.... that's okay, because this sort of thing is a real natural part of being a human girl (or other) and if you're a cricket like me who's been around the sun 20 and a bit times maybe this is something you've gone through a lot. just the ups and downs of having a heart and all... and as far as these things go today this thing went pretty okay, as okay as it could have gone. but maybe that's what makes it harder, maybe it's a Lot harder when absolutely no one is to blame and both parties are just human doing the best they can, and you actually come out of the whole thing, having reconciled (or started-to) misunderstandings, with a renewed love and just Adoration for the other person just as they are, not as your idealised version of them..

but guess what? that hurts like hell.. but i have been hurting already for a little while now. almost everyday i have been listening to this playlist i made that makes me feel like Betty in Mulholland drive, maybe my favourite breakup movie (lmk if you want the playlist!).. but that is slightly emotional Torture and i found to be losing myself in it a lot.. so i wanted to just do the hard stuff. self sufficiency please. the only way out is threw! so yeah. it hurts like hell even though nothing has really changed. just closure.

but i'm hoping that brings peace with time. and i'm looking forward to finally redirecting my energy towards more positive avenues, like this wonderful place here, or my music! i was wondering if in the future i can talk about my music here, or maybe post some stuff? would people be interested in that? the title of this post is from 2 of my all time fave songs, by sufjan stevens and underscores respectively, please consider checking them out! they're very special, but a little bit sad. also, it's my reddit cake day for 33 more minutes.. isn't that amusing! have a great day or evening or week everyone. with love from clem! < 3